Magazines

June 1st, 2007

Fléchelle

What is the" No Kissing Plan" and why it works

You may conquer with the sword, but you are conquered with a kiss.
Daniel Hensius

YOU'VE ASKED ME, "WHAT IS THIS NO KISSING BUSINESS?" Some of you have told me that you haven't heard anything as backward as my "No Kissing Plan." Really? Well, have you ever heard this one…"I don't know what happened? We started kissing and one thing lead to another…" Or what about… "I couldn't say no. I couldn't stop myself…" Maybe this… "You know, I really didn't like the guy, but then he kissed me and…"

The "No Kissing Plan" is about not kissing the wrong man for the wrong reason.

The "No Kissing Plan" is about not finding yourself in yet another heartbreaking relationship. It is about taking care of yourself first, while attracting the man you really want in your life. Not kissing the men you date will keep your head clear from the cloud of false intimacy a premature intimate relationship creates. By keeping your head clear, you are free to make the right choices in your life. Most importantly, you need to understand that kissing a man won't make him fall for you; men do not marry women because they gratify them with their body.

The "No Kissing Plan" is about getting you to be kissing the right man after receiving what you need and want from him first.

If you want to be married, I strongly suggest you not kiss anyone until one of your contenders has promised to investigate a married life with you through the act of engagement by presenting you with a ring. You should keep dating others until you receive this straightforward promise from a man who is serious enough to make it worthwhile for you to be taken off the market.

Without a ring you are not engaged. His promise to get you a ring after he has "test driven" your body; after his kids are older; after his mother dies; after his ex-wife gets over him; or when he has time to shop for a ring are only lame excuses not to give you what you need and want in order for you to stop dating others.

Although starting your relationship right and getting a ring first is not a fail-proof guarantee that you won't ever have your heart broken, at least you are one step further than a verbal promise. Actions do speak louder than words. It has nothing to do with the size or the monetary value of the ring; it has to do with the commitment significance of being engaged and the feeling of being honored, which you will carry with you throughout the life of your relationship.

Perks gained from following the "No Kissing Plan" include:

• Not getting emotionally bonded to a man who you realize later is not right for you.

• Not getting bonded to a man who is not ready to commit.

• Will allow you to choose your mate intellectually instead of chemically and emotionally. (Remember my article on the effects of oxytocin on your brain? - San Marcos Magazine, 09/2006.) It will allow you to use reason over passion, therefore making better choices in regards to your love relationships.

• Not turning off good men who won't be able to handle your kissing the other men you date.

Since you will be multiple dating (I will talk about this subject in a future article) in your search to find your future husband, do not kiss anyone. Men cannot handle the thought of another man's hands (even less his mouth) on the woman they consider marrying. Why risk losing the man who would be perfect for you because he thinks of another man's mouth on yours every time he kisses you? Do not kiss at all.

Kissing is very intimate and powerful. A woman needs a lot of inner strength to keep a kiss from developing into something more. Marriage minded men do not mind waiting to be physically intimate in order to end up with the right woman for them. They know there are plenty of "good time women" available and they value courting a virtuous one. Since men are born hunters, not kissing them gives them the energy they need to chase a woman in order to make her his. You are a valuable prize with an equally valuable price.

The "No Kissing Plan" is simple:

• Multiple date while you search for your future husband.

• Do not kiss a man until he gives you an engagement ring and is committed to investigate a married life with you.

• You only need to discipline your urges in exchange for a long-term meaningful relationship with a cherishing, loving, and caring man.

Put your right hand up and repeat these words: "I promise, on my honor, that if I am in the habit of kissing frogs, I will stop kissing them - and anyone else I date - until I find my Prince. So help me God."

If you want to be married, follow my "No Kissing Plan." I promise you will find a good, marriage minded man in the next twelve months. Try it. What do you have to lose? If the way you have been dating has left you frustrated and wondering, "Why can't I find a good man…?", then put this program in practice today. It will work for you if you follow these simple steps. You will find yourself married to the good man you deserve.

Remember, men are as good as women require them to be.

Fléchelle Morin, relationship & dating specialist and motivational speaker, is the author of the book "Kissing Or No Kissing; Whom Will You Save Your Kisses For? A Dating Guide To Creating Your Dreams." You can send your questions or comments by email at flechelle@nokissing.com.

For more on this subject or to learn more about Fléchelle and her dating philosophy, visit her website at www.nokissing.com.