Review from LDSAnarchy -- To LDS women; beware of kissing
“A man loses his sense of direction after four
drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.” Henry
Apparently there is now scientific research that indicates
that when a woman engages in kissing with a man, the
hormone oxytocin is released in her body. Oxytocin is
known as the “love drug” and causes a woman to bond
with the man with whom she is kissing. It clouds her
rational thought processes and affects her on an emotional
level. Oxytocin bonding is very dangerous because regardless
of the character of the man she is kissing, once the
bonding takes place, she will be emotionally attached.
She may find out later he has vices, is violent, is
dishonest, is of another religion, or is incompatible
in a multitude of ways with the standards she has set
for the kind of man she wants, but due to oxytocin bonding,
she may find it exceedingly difficult to break the relationship.
After this chemical process occurs, and bonding is initiated,
friends who see that the man is not right for her may
tell her directly and point out the cons of the guy,
but she will make excuses because “when I kiss him he
makes me feel (fill in the blank).”
Ladies, the only way to keep your head straight so
that you think rationally and choose the best man for
you is to keep to a “no kissing plan.” Absolutely never
kiss a man or boy before you have decided to marry him
and are engaged to him. Only after you have made the
decision that this is the man for you, should you kiss
him, allowing oxytocin bonding to occur.
Just think of how much misery and heartache could
be spared by just informing our daughters about the
physiological response of their bodies when they kiss
a boy, and counseling them to avoid it at all cost,
until they are engaged. Virtually every relationship
disaster, every immorality tragedy and every relationship
disease can be avoided by this simple plan.
All men know the effect kissing has on women, but
only until recently have scientists shown the link between
kissing and the female hormone oxytocin. So, men, no,
it isn’t your great kissing technique that makes a woman
melt. When she decides, desires and initiates kissing
with you, that hormone is released in her and she’ll
melt, regardless of who you are, what you look like
or how good or bad you are. Once she has experienced
oxytocin bonding with you, she is yours.
This information should scare the daylights out of
single and divorced women and parents of girls. Having
boyfriends, meaning friends who are boys that you kiss,
is dangerous ground to tread. If you don’t want to end
up with someone who makes you miserable, but to whom
you are oxytocin bonded, don’t ever kiss a man who isn’t
your fiance or husband. Period.
For further information, click on the following link:
Reviewed by LDSAnarchy
Amazon.com — Respecting Yourself,
May 24, 2006
Reviewer: Rebecca Johnson "The Rebecca Review"
(Issaquah, WA) -- Amazon Reviewer Rank: #5
"A woman can only love a man she respects,
and a man can only love a woman who respects him."
~ Flechelle Morin
Flechelle Morin relies on humor, logical thought and
an intelligent vs. emotional game plan to entice your
dream man into your world. Her straight talk to encourage
reason over passion allows a re-evaluation of how women
today think about finding a husband.
Are you an Alpha female looking for your complimentary
energy type? If you are a feminine energy woman looking
for a masculine energy partner, then the information
contained in Kissing or No Kissing explores the possibilities
of avoiding toxic men in order to allow healthy men
who are looking for a virtuous women, to have the chance
to feel protective, generous and loving.
"Masculine men love to give, protect and
cherish the women in their lives. They also want to
be appreciated by the women in their lives."
~ Flechelle Morin
From my own life experience I can say Flechelle Morin
is very wise in the way she encourages women to protect
themselves from emotional vulnerability. She explains
the scientific facts about bonding and why kissing the
wrong man can lead to an unfulfilling relationship.
What is most surprising is that she claims men are more
interested in two elusive emotional gifts only women
can give and these transcend men's desire for physical
If you want to protect yourself from chaotic relationships
with men who have little interest in an exclusive long-term
relationship otherwise known as marriage, then the information
on how to stop kissing frogs in order to find your prince
will be priceless. Even if you are married, this book
is enlightening and explores a variety of interesting
areas like oxytocin bonding and what men truly want
from the woman they love.
Kissing or No Kissing will allow you to reclaim your
feminine power in order to find a masculine man who
has an interest in partnership and parenthood.
The Rebecca Review
Amazon.com — TEN STARS for
this wonderful little book!, June 1, 2006 Reviewer:
Jackie in D.C. "www.abcnews.com"
Wow! Simple to say, harder to do, but Flechelle's
advice not to kiss the men we date works! It's working
for me just fine, I might say. At first, I thought that
I could never tell the men I date that I do not kiss
casually, but her frank, strong and feminine approach
make it a breeze to put into words (after practicing
in front of the mirror for a little while, though.)
Plus, I started to think of all the guys I dated that
I did not want to kiss and felt obligated just because
they took me out to dinner... Her "No Kissing Plan"
allow women to date men they would not have dated in
the past because they could not see themselves kiss
them on the first, second or third date. There are a
lot of powerful and thought provoking bits and pieces
in this book! Powerful yet simple--simple yet effective.
I've never had my dance card filled as much as since
I read this precious little book three months ago. I
also find that better men than before court me. This
book has given me the tools to be real with myself and
real with the men I date. And yes, as she promises,
I do receive bouquets of flowers... This book is a must
read for anyone who is seriously looking to be in a
long-term relationship. It will tell you what you need
to know to make relationships work for you.
Are you tired of wandering around hoping to trip over
In "Kissing or No Kissing,"
Flechelle Morin offers her theories on dating and relationships.
Morin explores the effects of the scientifically researched
brain chemical oxytocin, along with women's reactions
to this powerful peptide when it is released during
touching. Packed with easy to understand advice and
information, this book is will guide you through the
treacherous, liberal world of dating and help you reclaim
the traditional dating values of yesteryear and find
a life mate.
Reviewed by StrandBooks.com
Bedside reading for the amorous boudoir
Women, you must not even kiss the men you are dating,
until they promise to marry you. This way, "you
won't get bonded to a man before you get the commitment
you want from him first." Fléchelle Morin,
author of "Kissing or No Kissing: Whom Will You
Save Your Kisses For?" (Cheval Publishing, $21.95),
says a lip-lock is a no-no because "In kissing
and cuddling, most women will start bonding to a man;
any man, good or bad. By postponing kissing and cuddling
... it weeds out the non-serious contenders."
By Melinda Bargreen, Seattle
Times staff critic, 02/14/2006 (also seen on International
News Service in Australia - 02/15/2006)
Following is the letter I sent Melinda
regarding her review of my book:
February 17, 2006
Thank you so much for reviewing my book Kissing Or
No Kissing: Whom Will You Save Your Kisses For? A Dating
Guide To Creating Your Dream? in your article entitled
"Bedside reading for the amorous boudoir"
published in The Seattle Times on February 14, 2006.
I really liked your article and was very happy to
see that you took the time to review my book.
Just one thing though, I don't say in my book that
women should not kiss a man until he promises to marry
her. I suggest women to be discerning and make sure
that the men they will allow themselves to bond to are
on the same page than they are. If a woman simply wants
to be in a casual relationship, then I suggest for her
to find out first if the man she is contemplating a
casual relationship with wants one, with her too, before
she attaches herself to him. If she wants to be married,
than I suggest her to find out if marriage is in the
future plan of the man she would like to investigate
a long-term relationship leading to marriage, and also
if his future plans of marriage "includes"
By making a commitment to engagement, a man is signaling
to the woman his intentions towards her (which, for
the marriage-minded woman, coincides with her wishes
to marry.) I know that the word "engagement"
throws a lot of people for a loop. This is why I wrote
chapter 9 "What Is The Meaning of Engagement?"
because most people these days do not know the real
meaning and the real purpose of this very important
phase in the relationship of a serious marriage-minded
couple. Most people use the period of engagement to
prepare for a big party, called "wedding,"
instead of preparing and planning for a life-long marriage
with each other. The engagement period is the time spent
by both partners in "investigating" if marriage
is the best outcome for them both. Far from being a
done deal, the engagement period is one of investigation.
Does this make sense to you?
Thanks a million for your time and energy, I very
much appreciate it, and again, I totally enjoyed reading
Lovingly, Fléchelle Morin
P.S.: Additionally, perhaps you would
be interested in getting a copy of the National Geographic
magazine (February 2006). The cover sports in bright
red the word "Love" followed by the caption
"The Chemical Reaction." It is an interesting
article which talks about oxytocin, among other things
such as the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine,
saying that "Oxytocin is a hormone that promotes
a feeling of connection and bonding" through such
actions as hugging. Can you imagine what kissing can
do to us? ;-)
Melinda kindheartedly responded to my letter saying
that "Thanks for your very gracious comments on
my article. I'm sorry to reduce and trivialize your
whole book (as well as the others) in order to fit a
Valentine's Day format, where the idea was just to give
the readers a glimpse of what's out there in terms of
amatory advice. "Kissing Or No Kissing" is
an admirable book, far more complex than I was able
to hint at in the piece you saw. Your arguments make
a great deal of sense..." I thanked Melinda for
her response and told her that I will make sure to send
her my next book for her to review. Thank you again
Looking for love advice in all the wrong
"Kissing or No Kissing: Whom Will You Save Your
Kisses For? A Dating Guide to Creating Your Dream"
by Flechelle Morin (Cheval Publishing, $21.95) was another
book for the marriage-minded. Again, this was definitely
not the book I was looking for.
Rachael Mason, Gwinnett Daily Post,
Following is the letter I sent Rachael
regarding her review of my book:
February 17, 2006
Thank you for writing about my book Kissing Or No
Kissing: Whom Will You Save Your Kisses For? A Dating
Guide To Creating Your Dream? in your article entitled
"Looking for love advice in all the wrong self-help
books" published in The Gwinnett Daily Post on
February 12, 2006.
Your article was very witty and funny. Well, it made
me laugh, and when I showed it to one of my girlfriend,
like me, she laughed out loud and thought the article
I understand that you are not looking for a marriage-minded
man just yet, but if and when you decide that you want
one, please let me know, and I'll be happy to help.
Thanks again. Keep up the great work!
Warmly, Fléchelle Morin
I haven't heard from Rachael yet!
Fléchelle Morin has explained
our most nagging relationship dilemma —
why so many women are single and miserable — with
an elegantly simple observation: ladies are stopping
to kiss too many frogs along the way to finding their
prince. Offering just enough scientific data to get
the reader's attention without requiring a Master's
in chemistry, her dating approach makes perfect sense.
As a dating-theme radio show producer/host who interviews
100 authors a year on relationship topics, I expected
to dismiss this book as more same-old fluff. "Not!"
To Ms. Morin's further credit, her dating pitfalls explanation
elicited an "Aha!" along with my wholehearted
endorsement. This dynamic little book is a must-read
for anyone spending Valentine's Day alone-again-and
for any woman or man who needs the encouragement to
hold out for their true love.
Bonnie D. Graham
Radio Producer/Host-"Long Island's Dating"
Fridays 6-7 PM (EST)
Heard worldwide at www.AM1240WGBB.com
Target: true love -- Books help pave
the way to better relationships
"Kissing or No Kissing: Whom Will You
Save Your Kisses For?"
(Cheval Publishing Inc., $21.95) by Flechelle Morin
also challenges women's dating ideas. Morin blames the
hormone oxytocin for the loving feelings women experience
when they kiss or cuddle. To avoid heartbreak and find
a partner worth having, Morin suggests women avoid kissing
until they're engaged. Hugging, holding hands and dating
multiple men is OK — just no kissing. Tough, old-fashioned
talk, but persuasive.
By Kathleen Grant Geib, Staff Writer,
INSIDE BAY AREA - 02/09/2006
Amazon.com — Ladies... On your mark!
I got the book after hearing the author on a radio
show. At first I thought I heard her wrong when she
spoke kindly about men. But I didn't. One thing I can
say, is that Flechelle Morin knows men, and can translate
her knowledge on paper in such an eloquent way that
it makes men feel understood (and respected, as she
puts it), all the while making women winners by adopting
her techniques. You know, I would date a woman who would
treat me as well as Morin suggest women treat men. She
is right on target when she says that good men won't
leave women for not "putting out." We love
to chase, and winning a woman who respects and values
herself enough to say "no" to casual sex,
is for sure quite a victory, at least for someone like
Reviewer: Commander Brooks
Amazon.com — A new twist on the
lost art of relationships
This book as changed my life! I did not know that
simple things such as being genuinely receptive, accepting,
appreciative and respecting of men would transform them
into the "princes" they were born to be. I
did not know how to accomplish these simple tasks. In
her book, Kissing Or No Kissing, Flechelle Morin candidly
tells us how to achieve this "tour de force"
with concepts that are easy to understand and apply.
If you are looking to be married to a good man, this
is the book to read. I am married, and my husband has
been more than willing to love, protect and cherish
the new me! I am glad I gave this book and my relationship
a chance. This book will make you think. This book will
make you want to be this feminine, lovable, strong and
intelligent woman Morin says we can all be, with a little
faith, and lots of practice. Your commitments to yourself
will empower you, and in return, empower all men around
you. Try it. It works!!
Reviewer: Meg P. Thomas
Flechelle Morin has, very possibly,
cracked opened a Pandora's Book.
With Kissing Or No Kissing; Whom Will You Save
Your Kisses For?, she stands forty years of feminist
agitprop on its pointy head - and, god almighty, prepare
yourself for the ensuing imbroglio. But Ms. Morin convinces
most of us - with her clear and insightful pen - that
the post-feminist curse lashed upon the traditional
male/female courtship dance has led only to ruin: progressive
women being pressured to adopt the dodgy etiquette of
male sexual orneriness; and men choosing - in droves
- not to marry their odd curvy, beardless quasi-clones.
This book will break that spell! And you will jolt upright
and believe... a woman can survive, and thrive, as both
intelligent and strong... and feminine and chaste. You
may scratch your head, but it does really work: Men
do like to marry WOMEN! Retrace your steps and become
one once again. Kudos to Flechelle Morin for having
the guts to tread on such sacrosanct turf and for presenting
it so pleasantly.
David W. Taylor - Entertainment Writer,
Reality Reel Media
“SLO Singles: New “Rules”
on kissing go too far”
Sometimes I think it's unfair that women seem hardwired
to attach emotions to every situation. But it happens.
We can separate personal and professional matters and
be very effective leaders in the workplace. We can balance
jobs, families and friends without losing ourselves.
But according to a new book, "Kissing or No Kissing:
Whom Will You Save Your Kisses For?" by Fléchelle
Morin (Cheval Publishing, $21.95), we are unable to
separate sex and emotions. That is why Morin suggests
that women who want to get married and have families
save their kisses.
Typically, when I come across such a book, I slam
it shut the second I read anything about celibacy. But
for some reason I kept reading.
To find the right man, Morin suggests going out on
dates with every man who asks. She suggests double-
and triple-booking your Saturday nights so that if the
first guy cancels on you, you've got at least one if
not two backups. ("Rules" flashbacks, anyone?)
But don't kiss any of these men. Nothing more than a
peck on the cheek until a man is ready to make a commitment.
No kisses until a ring is on your left hand. That's
right, no kisses until he is willing to give you an
engagement ring. A little extreme, don't you think?
I have to admit that there were times as I read her
book that I actually started to buy into some of it
. . . what can I say? I was feeling emotional.
And I am still single; maybe she knows something I
She makes a couple of valid points about women and
"sex buddies." One is if a woman is sleeping
with a friend until a guy she is interested in comes
along, it is inevitable she will develop feelings for
this friend. She will probably think that they've got
something going, that it's monogamous and is developing
into something. Meanwhile, the guy thinks he's having
sex. Plain and simple.
Admittedly, a lot of us do read into men's comments
or gestures, sometimes too much and that can easily
result in hurt feelings and broken hearts. So I can
see her points on the sex buddy stuff. But no kissing
until you're engaged? I can't imagine it. Who wants
to wait until she's engaged to find out if the person
she's planning to spend the rest of their life with
is a good kisser? A good lover?
One of her reasons for waiting to kiss a man is that
"kissing a man will chemically bond you to him."
She writes: "Oxytocin is the bonding agent believed
to be responsible for possibly most feelings of love
we feel toward a stranger we might just have met and
rubbed elbows with. . . . Oxytocin is a powerful hormone
that is released through the act of touching, kissing,
cuddling and so on and it will trick you into thinking
you need to be with this man, no matter what."
Chemicals or not, we're human and face it, kissing is
fun. So is cuddling, touching and the stuff that tends
I understand that there are people out there who for
personal or religious reasons choose to wait until marriage
before having sex, maybe they even wait before kissing.
I respect their decisions. But they're the minority,
and this book isn't about religion. It's teaching women
that they shouldn't be sexual beings -- aka human --
if they want to nab a good man.
"Men are simple," she writes. "A man
wants a good wife who won't sleep with his best friend
when he is out of town. Therefore, a virtuous woman
becomes a valuable commodity." Here's a thought:
Women, who by the way are not "commodities,"
are like these "good men" Morin writes about
in that we also want good husbands who won't sleep with
our best friends. But kissing a man or sleeping with
him before we're engaged hardly means that we lack virtue
or would be bad wives. It simply means that we're human,
that we're healthy and that we'll have a clue on the
By Ellen Slingsby, Special To The Tribune
E-mail Ellen Slingsby at email@example.com
or leave a message at 781-7925.
Slice of Life appears in The Patriot Ledger,
Quincy, Mass.; The Daily Item, Lynn, Mass.; The Tribune,
San Luis Obispo, Calif.; and The Times-Dispatch, Richmond,
Va. Contact her at ESlingsby@ledger.com and check out
her Web site at www.sliceoflifecolumn.com
Following is the letter I sent Ellen regarding
her review of my book:
Thank you for taking the time to read and review my
book in your article entitled “SLO Singles: New
“Rules” on kissing go too far” published
in The Tribune of San Luis Obispo on December 31, 2005.
I very much appreciate it.
You are absolutely right on two very important points;
you are still single, and “I know” something
you don’t… But, not to worry, all this
can be remedied!
Would you be up to the challenge of trying my long-term
relationship program? If you are up to the challenge,
I would like to extend my support in helping you to
understand and apply my theories. As you may find out,
my theories go much deeper than how to insure, for a
fair maiden, a date on a Saturday night!
If you are interested in being available and found
by a good marriage-minded man, I know that my program
would give you the knowledge and the tools you need
in order to achieve as much. Even if you would find
it very difficult (or even almost impossible) at first,
I can assure you that any woman who wants something
strongly enough will achieve anything and attain her
goal. In exchange for my help, I would just ask you
to recount how I helped you meet your husband.
Ellen, as a consequence to our abstaining from sex
without commitment, know that if a man is ready to wait
as long as it takes for a woman before having sex with
her, this man is usually the type of man who can wait
for his wife to have sex for a really long time (think
bloating and discomfort from pregnancies) without lurking
at her girlfriends. I couldn’t say as much for
the guy who could not wait a month before “doing”
Please know that men are more than willing to give
a commitment to a woman if she so requires it. If you
have never tried to require a commitment from a man
before you gave yourself to him, may I suggest you test
my theories yourself? You would be very surprised of
how empowering and uplifting it is for a woman to know
that a man is with her for her, and not for the sexual
gratifications he gets from her. You would be very surprised
of the results you would be getting from the male gender.
Ellen, just to set the record straight, nowhere do
I write in my book that a woman who kisses or goes to
bed with a man before engagement means that she lacks
virtue or would make a “bad wife.” I would
never think that. I only caution women that if they
do, they might find themselves in yet another short-lived
relationship and, ultimately, a broken heart. Also,
I do not teach women to be sexless beings; I teach women
to be responsible sexual beings. I see women as being
vibrant and spirited, and certainly one of the primary
reasons why we have some beauty in this world.
I certainly hope that you will accept my challenge
as you are the perfect demographic for my program—and
yes, commodity too—many men sees women as commodity,
but in the scheme of how men and women see each others,
I think commodity is a rather mild term… Plus,
I’d rather be seen as “wife commodity”
than “sex commodity”, wouldn’t you?
I know that if you would give my program a chance (for
at least six (6) months), you will meet your future
husband and the Daddy to your children.
What do you have to lose? The way you have been dating
in the past hasn’t brought you the husband you
have been looking for, right? Why not try something
new (or not so new, as our grand-mothers knew all too
well about the power of guarding our kisses)?
If you have the time, please listen to my upcoming
radio interviews at http://nokissing.com/radioshows.htm.
Ellen, I can’t wait to hear from you. I am very
excited at the prospect of you accepting my challenge,
as I know you will succeed at finding the right husband
for yourself and the best father for your children,
the very same way you have succeeded in your life and
career up until now.
Besides, you said that for some reason, you kept reading.
Perhaps it is time you listen to your gut feelings.
What do you think?
While she is sure that my plan may work
for some women, Ellen declined my offer to help her,
stating that my program is not a plan that she is interested
in pursuing for herself.