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Review from LDSAnarchy -- To LDS women; beware of kissing

“A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.” —Henry Louis Mencken

Apparently there is now scientific research that indicates that when a woman engages in kissing with a man, the hormone oxytocin is released in her body. Oxytocin is known as the “love drug” and causes a woman to bond with the man with whom she is kissing. It clouds her rational thought processes and affects her on an emotional level. Oxytocin bonding is very dangerous because regardless of the character of the man she is kissing, once the bonding takes place, she will be emotionally attached. She may find out later he has vices, is violent, is dishonest, is of another religion, or is incompatible in a multitude of ways with the standards she has set for the kind of man she wants, but due to oxytocin bonding, she may find it exceedingly difficult to break the relationship. After this chemical process occurs, and bonding is initiated, friends who see that the man is not right for her may tell her directly and point out the cons of the guy, but she will make excuses because “when I kiss him he makes me feel (fill in the blank).”

Ladies, the only way to keep your head straight so that you think rationally and choose the best man for you is to keep to a “no kissing plan.” Absolutely never kiss a man or boy before you have decided to marry him and are engaged to him. Only after you have made the decision that this is the man for you, should you kiss him, allowing oxytocin bonding to occur.

Just think of how much misery and heartache could be spared by just informing our daughters about the physiological response of their bodies when they kiss a boy, and counseling them to avoid it at all cost, until they are engaged. Virtually every relationship disaster, every immorality tragedy and every relationship disease can be avoided by this simple plan.

All men know the effect kissing has on women, but only until recently have scientists shown the link between kissing and the female hormone oxytocin. So, men, no, it isn’t your great kissing technique that makes a woman melt. When she decides, desires and initiates kissing with you, that hormone is released in her and she’ll melt, regardless of who you are, what you look like or how good or bad you are. Once she has experienced oxytocin bonding with you, she is yours.

This information should scare the daylights out of single and divorced women and parents of girls. Having boyfriends, meaning friends who are boys that you kiss, is dangerous ground to tread. If you don’t want to end up with someone who makes you miserable, but to whom you are oxytocin bonded, don’t ever kiss a man who isn’t your fiance or husband. Period.

For further information, click on the following link: www.nokissing.com

Reviewed by LDSAnarchy

 
 

Amazon.com — Respecting Yourself, May 24, 2006
Reviewer: Rebecca Johnson "The Rebecca Review" (Issaquah, WA) -- Amazon Reviewer Rank: #5

"A woman can only love a man she respects, and a man can only love a woman who respects him." ~ Flechelle Morin

Flechelle Morin relies on humor, logical thought and an intelligent vs. emotional game plan to entice your dream man into your world. Her straight talk to encourage reason over passion allows a re-evaluation of how women today think about finding a husband.

Are you an Alpha female looking for your complimentary energy type? If you are a feminine energy woman looking for a masculine energy partner, then the information contained in Kissing or No Kissing explores the possibilities of avoiding toxic men in order to allow healthy men who are looking for a virtuous women, to have the chance to feel protective, generous and loving.

"Masculine men love to give, protect and cherish the women in their lives. They also want to be appreciated by the women in their lives." ~ Flechelle Morin

From my own life experience I can say Flechelle Morin is very wise in the way she encourages women to protect themselves from emotional vulnerability. She explains the scientific facts about bonding and why kissing the wrong man can lead to an unfulfilling relationship. What is most surprising is that she claims men are more interested in two elusive emotional gifts only women can give and these transcend men's desire for physical satisfaction.

If you want to protect yourself from chaotic relationships with men who have little interest in an exclusive long-term relationship otherwise known as marriage, then the information on how to stop kissing frogs in order to find your prince will be priceless. Even if you are married, this book is enlightening and explores a variety of interesting areas like oxytocin bonding and what men truly want from the woman they love.

Kissing or No Kissing will allow you to reclaim your feminine power in order to find a masculine man who has an interest in partnership and parenthood.

The Rebecca Review

 
 

Amazon.com — TEN STARS for this wonderful little book!, June 1, 2006 Reviewer: Jackie in D.C. "www.abcnews.com"
(Washington, D.C.)

Wow! Simple to say, harder to do, but Flechelle's advice not to kiss the men we date works! It's working for me just fine, I might say. At first, I thought that I could never tell the men I date that I do not kiss casually, but her frank, strong and feminine approach make it a breeze to put into words (after practicing in front of the mirror for a little while, though.) Plus, I started to think of all the guys I dated that I did not want to kiss and felt obligated just because they took me out to dinner... Her "No Kissing Plan" allow women to date men they would not have dated in the past because they could not see themselves kiss them on the first, second or third date. There are a lot of powerful and thought provoking bits and pieces in this book! Powerful yet simple--simple yet effective. I've never had my dance card filled as much as since I read this precious little book three months ago. I also find that better men than before court me. This book has given me the tools to be real with myself and real with the men I date. And yes, as she promises, I do receive bouquets of flowers... This book is a must read for anyone who is seriously looking to be in a long-term relationship. It will tell you what you need to know to make relationships work for you.

 
 

Are you tired of wandering around hoping to trip over Mr. Right?

In "Kissing or No Kissing," Flechelle Morin offers her theories on dating and relationships. Morin explores the effects of the scientifically researched brain chemical oxytocin, along with women's reactions to this powerful peptide when it is released during touching. Packed with easy to understand advice and information, this book is will guide you through the treacherous, liberal world of dating and help you reclaim the traditional dating values of yesteryear and find a life mate.

Reviewed by StrandBooks.com

 
 

Bedside reading for the amorous boudoir

Women, you must not even kiss the men you are dating, until they promise to marry you. This way, "you won't get bonded to a man before you get the commitment you want from him first." Fléchelle Morin, author of "Kissing or No Kissing: Whom Will You Save Your Kisses For?" (Cheval Publishing, $21.95), says a lip-lock is a no-no because "In kissing and cuddling, most women will start bonding to a man; any man, good or bad. By postponing kissing and cuddling ... it weeds out the non-serious contenders."

By Melinda Bargreen, Seattle Times staff critic, 02/14/2006 (also seen on International News Service in Australia - 02/15/2006)

 
 

Following is the letter I sent Melinda regarding her review of my book:

February 17, 2006
Dear Melinda,

Thank you so much for reviewing my book Kissing Or No Kissing: Whom Will You Save Your Kisses For? A Dating Guide To Creating Your Dream? in your article entitled "Bedside reading for the amorous boudoir" published in The Seattle Times on February 14, 2006.

I really liked your article and was very happy to see that you took the time to review my book.

Just one thing though, I don't say in my book that women should not kiss a man until he promises to marry her. I suggest women to be discerning and make sure that the men they will allow themselves to bond to are on the same page than they are. If a woman simply wants to be in a casual relationship, then I suggest for her to find out first if the man she is contemplating a casual relationship with wants one, with her too, before she attaches herself to him. If she wants to be married, than I suggest her to find out if marriage is in the future plan of the man she would like to investigate a long-term relationship leading to marriage, and also if his future plans of marriage "includes" her.

By making a commitment to engagement, a man is signaling to the woman his intentions towards her (which, for the marriage-minded woman, coincides with her wishes to marry.) I know that the word "engagement" throws a lot of people for a loop. This is why I wrote chapter 9 "What Is The Meaning of Engagement?" because most people these days do not know the real meaning and the real purpose of this very important phase in the relationship of a serious marriage-minded couple. Most people use the period of engagement to prepare for a big party, called "wedding," instead of preparing and planning for a life-long marriage with each other. The engagement period is the time spent by both partners in "investigating" if marriage is the best outcome for them both. Far from being a done deal, the engagement period is one of investigation. Does this make sense to you?

Thanks a million for your time and energy, I very much appreciate it, and again, I totally enjoyed reading your article.

Lovingly, Fléchelle Morin

P.S.: Additionally, perhaps you would be interested in getting a copy of the National Geographic magazine (February 2006). The cover sports in bright red the word "Love" followed by the caption "The Chemical Reaction." It is an interesting article which talks about oxytocin, among other things such as the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine, saying that "Oxytocin is a hormone that promotes a feeling of connection and bonding" through such actions as hugging. Can you imagine what kissing can do to us? ;-)

Melinda kindheartedly responded to my letter saying that "Thanks for your very gracious comments on my article. I'm sorry to reduce and trivialize your whole book (as well as the others) in order to fit a Valentine's Day format, where the idea was just to give the readers a glimpse of what's out there in terms of amatory advice. "Kissing Or No Kissing" is an admirable book, far more complex than I was able to hint at in the piece you saw. Your arguments make a great deal of sense..." I thanked Melinda for her response and told her that I will make sure to send her my next book for her to review. Thank you again Melinda!

 
 

Looking for love advice in all the wrong self-help books

"Kissing or No Kissing: Whom Will You Save Your Kisses For? A Dating Guide to Creating Your Dream" by Flechelle Morin (Cheval Publishing, $21.95) was another book for the marriage-minded. Again, this was definitely not the book I was looking for.

Rachael Mason, Gwinnett Daily Post, 02/12/2006

 
 

Following is the letter I sent Rachael regarding her review of my book:

February 17, 2006
Dear Rachael,

Thank you for writing about my book Kissing Or No Kissing: Whom Will You Save Your Kisses For? A Dating Guide To Creating Your Dream? in your article entitled "Looking for love advice in all the wrong self-help books" published in The Gwinnett Daily Post on February 12, 2006.

Your article was very witty and funny. Well, it made me laugh, and when I showed it to one of my girlfriend, like me, she laughed out loud and thought the article was great.

I understand that you are not looking for a marriage-minded man just yet, but if and when you decide that you want one, please let me know, and I'll be happy to help.

Thanks again. Keep up the great work!
Warmly, Fléchelle Morin

I haven't heard from Rachael yet!

 
 

Fléchelle Morin has explained our most nagging relationship dilemma — why so many women are single and miserable — with an elegantly simple observation: ladies are stopping to kiss too many frogs along the way to finding their prince. Offering just enough scientific data to get the reader's attention without requiring a Master's in chemistry, her dating approach makes perfect sense. As a dating-theme radio show producer/host who interviews 100 authors a year on relationship topics, I expected to dismiss this book as more same-old fluff. "Not!" To Ms. Morin's further credit, her dating pitfalls explanation elicited an "Aha!" along with my wholehearted endorsement. This dynamic little book is a must-read for anyone spending Valentine's Day alone-again-and for any woman or man who needs the encouragement to hold out for their true love.

Bonnie D. Graham
www.BonnieTV.com
Radio Producer/Host-"Long Island's Dating"
Fridays 6-7 PM (EST)
Heard worldwide at www.AM1240WGBB.com

 
 

Target: true love -- Books help pave the way to better relationships

"Kissing or No Kissing: Whom Will You Save Your Kisses For?"
(Cheval Publishing Inc., $21.95) by Flechelle Morin also challenges women's dating ideas. Morin blames the hormone oxytocin for the loving feelings women experience when they kiss or cuddle. To avoid heartbreak and find a partner worth having, Morin suggests women avoid kissing until they're engaged. Hugging, holding hands and dating multiple men is OK — just no kissing. Tough, old-fashioned talk, but persuasive.

By Kathleen Grant Geib, Staff Writer,
INSIDE BAY AREA - 02/09/2006

 
 

Amazon.com — Ladies... On your mark!

I got the book after hearing the author on a radio show. At first I thought I heard her wrong when she spoke kindly about men. But I didn't. One thing I can say, is that Flechelle Morin knows men, and can translate her knowledge on paper in such an eloquent way that it makes men feel understood (and respected, as she puts it), all the while making women winners by adopting her techniques. You know, I would date a woman who would treat me as well as Morin suggest women treat men. She is right on target when she says that good men won't leave women for not "putting out." We love to chase, and winning a woman who respects and values herself enough to say "no" to casual sex, is for sure quite a victory, at least for someone like me.

Reviewer: Commander Brooks

 
 

Amazon.com — A new twist on the lost art of relationships

This book as changed my life! I did not know that simple things such as being genuinely receptive, accepting, appreciative and respecting of men would transform them into the "princes" they were born to be. I did not know how to accomplish these simple tasks. In her book, Kissing Or No Kissing, Flechelle Morin candidly tells us how to achieve this "tour de force" with concepts that are easy to understand and apply. If you are looking to be married to a good man, this is the book to read. I am married, and my husband has been more than willing to love, protect and cherish the new me! I am glad I gave this book and my relationship a chance. This book will make you think. This book will make you want to be this feminine, lovable, strong and intelligent woman Morin says we can all be, with a little faith, and lots of practice. Your commitments to yourself will empower you, and in return, empower all men around you. Try it. It works!!

Reviewer: Meg P. Thomas

 
 

Flechelle Morin has, very possibly, cracked opened a Pandora's Book.

With Kissing Or No Kissing; Whom Will You Save Your Kisses For?, she stands forty years of feminist agitprop on its pointy head - and, god almighty, prepare yourself for the ensuing imbroglio. But Ms. Morin convinces most of us - with her clear and insightful pen - that the post-feminist curse lashed upon the traditional male/female courtship dance has led only to ruin: progressive women being pressured to adopt the dodgy etiquette of male sexual orneriness; and men choosing - in droves - not to marry their odd curvy, beardless quasi-clones. This book will break that spell! And you will jolt upright and believe... a woman can survive, and thrive, as both intelligent and strong... and feminine and chaste. You may scratch your head, but it does really work: Men do like to marry WOMEN! Retrace your steps and become one once again. Kudos to Flechelle Morin for having the guts to tread on such sacrosanct turf and for presenting it so pleasantly.

David W. Taylor - Entertainment Writer, Reality Reel Media

 
 

“SLO Singles: New “Rules” on kissing go too far”

Sometimes I think it's unfair that women seem hardwired to attach emotions to every situation. But it happens. We can separate personal and professional matters and be very effective leaders in the workplace. We can balance jobs, families and friends without losing ourselves.

But according to a new book, "Kissing or No Kissing: Whom Will You Save Your Kisses For?" by Fléchelle Morin (Cheval Publishing, $21.95), we are unable to separate sex and emotions. That is why Morin suggests that women who want to get married and have families save their kisses.

Typically, when I come across such a book, I slam it shut the second I read anything about celibacy. But for some reason I kept reading.

To find the right man, Morin suggests going out on dates with every man who asks. She suggests double- and triple-booking your Saturday nights so that if the first guy cancels on you, you've got at least one if not two backups. ("Rules" flashbacks, anyone?) But don't kiss any of these men. Nothing more than a peck on the cheek until a man is ready to make a commitment. No kisses until a ring is on your left hand. That's right, no kisses until he is willing to give you an engagement ring. A little extreme, don't you think?

I have to admit that there were times as I read her book that I actually started to buy into some of it . . . what can I say? I was feeling emotional.

And I am still single; maybe she knows something I don't.

She makes a couple of valid points about women and "sex buddies." One is if a woman is sleeping with a friend until a guy she is interested in comes along, it is inevitable she will develop feelings for this friend. She will probably think that they've got something going, that it's monogamous and is developing into something. Meanwhile, the guy thinks he's having sex. Plain and simple.

Admittedly, a lot of us do read into men's comments or gestures, sometimes too much and that can easily result in hurt feelings and broken hearts. So I can see her points on the sex buddy stuff. But no kissing until you're engaged? I can't imagine it. Who wants to wait until she's engaged to find out if the person she's planning to spend the rest of their life with is a good kisser? A good lover?

One of her reasons for waiting to kiss a man is that "kissing a man will chemically bond you to him."

She writes: "Oxytocin is the bonding agent believed to be responsible for possibly most feelings of love we feel toward a stranger we might just have met and rubbed elbows with. . . . Oxytocin is a powerful hormone that is released through the act of touching, kissing, cuddling and so on and it will trick you into thinking you need to be with this man, no matter what." Chemicals or not, we're human and face it, kissing is fun. So is cuddling, touching and the stuff that tends to follow.

I understand that there are people out there who for personal or religious reasons choose to wait until marriage before having sex, maybe they even wait before kissing. I respect their decisions. But they're the minority, and this book isn't about religion. It's teaching women that they shouldn't be sexual beings -- aka human -- if they want to nab a good man.

"Men are simple," she writes. "A man wants a good wife who won't sleep with his best friend when he is out of town. Therefore, a virtuous woman becomes a valuable commodity." Here's a thought: Women, who by the way are not "commodities," are like these "good men" Morin writes about in that we also want good husbands who won't sleep with our best friends. But kissing a man or sleeping with him before we're engaged hardly means that we lack virtue or would be bad wives. It simply means that we're human, that we're healthy and that we'll have a clue on the wedding night.

By Ellen Slingsby, Special To The Tribune

E-mail Ellen Slingsby at slosingles@thetribunenews.com or leave a message at 781-7925.
Slice of Life appears in The Patriot Ledger, Quincy, Mass.; The Daily Item, Lynn, Mass.; The Tribune, San Luis Obispo, Calif.; and The Times-Dispatch, Richmond, Va. Contact her at ESlingsby@ledger.com and check out her Web site at www.sliceoflifecolumn.com

Following is the letter I sent Ellen regarding her review of my book:

Dear Ellen,

Thank you for taking the time to read and review my book in your article entitled “SLO Singles: New “Rules” on kissing go too far” published in The Tribune of San Luis Obispo on December 31, 2005. I very much appreciate it.

You are absolutely right on two very important points; you are still single, and “I know” something you don’t… But, not to worry, all this can be remedied!

Would you be up to the challenge of trying my long-term relationship program? If you are up to the challenge, I would like to extend my support in helping you to understand and apply my theories. As you may find out, my theories go much deeper than how to insure, for a fair maiden, a date on a Saturday night!

If you are interested in being available and found by a good marriage-minded man, I know that my program would give you the knowledge and the tools you need in order to achieve as much. Even if you would find it very difficult (or even almost impossible) at first, I can assure you that any woman who wants something strongly enough will achieve anything and attain her goal. In exchange for my help, I would just ask you to recount how I helped you meet your husband.

Ellen, as a consequence to our abstaining from sex without commitment, know that if a man is ready to wait as long as it takes for a woman before having sex with her, this man is usually the type of man who can wait for his wife to have sex for a really long time (think bloating and discomfort from pregnancies) without lurking at her girlfriends. I couldn’t say as much for the guy who could not wait a month before “doing” her…

Please know that men are more than willing to give a commitment to a woman if she so requires it. If you have never tried to require a commitment from a man before you gave yourself to him, may I suggest you test my theories yourself? You would be very surprised of how empowering and uplifting it is for a woman to know that a man is with her for her, and not for the sexual gratifications he gets from her. You would be very surprised of the results you would be getting from the male gender.

Ellen, just to set the record straight, nowhere do I write in my book that a woman who kisses or goes to bed with a man before engagement means that she lacks virtue or would make a “bad wife.” I would never think that. I only caution women that if they do, they might find themselves in yet another short-lived relationship and, ultimately, a broken heart. Also, I do not teach women to be sexless beings; I teach women to be responsible sexual beings. I see women as being vibrant and spirited, and certainly one of the primary reasons why we have some beauty in this world.

I certainly hope that you will accept my challenge as you are the perfect demographic for my program—and yes, commodity too—many men sees women as commodity, but in the scheme of how men and women see each others, I think commodity is a rather mild term… Plus, I’d rather be seen as “wife commodity” than “sex commodity”, wouldn’t you? I know that if you would give my program a chance (for at least six (6) months), you will meet your future husband and the Daddy to your children.

What do you have to lose? The way you have been dating in the past hasn’t brought you the husband you have been looking for, right? Why not try something new (or not so new, as our grand-mothers knew all too well about the power of guarding our kisses)?

If you have the time, please listen to my upcoming radio interviews at http://nokissing.com/radioshows.htm.

Ellen, I can’t wait to hear from you. I am very excited at the prospect of you accepting my challenge, as I know you will succeed at finding the right husband for yourself and the best father for your children, the very same way you have succeeded in your life and career up until now.

Besides, you said that for some reason, you kept reading. Perhaps it is time you listen to your gut feelings. What do you think?

Warmly,

Fléchelle Morin

While she is sure that my plan may work for some women, Ellen declined my offer to help her, stating that my program is not a plan that she is interested in pursuing for herself.

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